The pressure to perform at work can disconnect you from how you naturally work and think. Over time, staying “on” becomes automatic, shaping the choices you make and keeping you in work that doesn’t feel right, even when nothing looks obviously wrong.
Rebuilding awareness of these patterns is what allows you to make different choices and move towards work that fits you more honestly.
Hello, and welcome back. You’ve chosen to listen to this episode today and there is significance in that. Because today we are talking about choice.
Right now you may feel like you’re being pulled in all directions, performing to get through your day and feeling pressure to be constantly on.
You are definitely not alone.
There’s your home life, your work, friends and family and then everything happening in the wider world. Politics, the economy, the environment, the suffering and struggles people face each day.
It comes at you from all angles, demanding your attention, energy and participation.
For so long, you’ve shown up, accepting the way things are and delivering what is needed, when it’s needed.
You care deeply. You want to contribute and make a difference. But the cost of doing that in the way you do it right now is becoming too much. And you’re beginning to realise this.
Today, we are talking about the choices you make and why being present with yourself will help you redefine your own contribution and success, enabling you to protect your energy so you can embrace your true ambition and do great things.
The full transcript is available at theactionwithin.com/9.
When Meeting Expectations Becomes Your Default
You’ve found yourself in a line of work that demands a lot of things from you. Your time, energy, intelligence, attention, and presence. And you give it because it’s expected.
If you don’t perform, maybe you won’t be rewarded, promoted, accepted or recognised. Maybe you fear losing the approval you’ve worked so hard to build.
But the honest question is, is this what you want? Is the path you’re on taking you where you truly want to be?
Or have you slowly become caught in a cycle of expectation that, over the years, has shaped you into someone you no longer recognise?
When you were younger, you probably had far more energy to give. The long hours, lack of sleep, poor nourishment, constant pressure and even unhealthy coping mechanisms were easier to sustain. Partly because that’s what youth can do, but also because everyone around you was behaving in a similar way.
It became normal. It became what success looked like. So you learned to ignore the discomfort and keep going.
When Things Start to Feel Off
But now, maybe 10 or 20 years later, it no longer feels sustainable. In fact, it may feel awful.
Your nervous system feels it. Your body feels it. And the mental strength that once carried you through is beginning to wear thin.
The truth is you haven’t suddenly changed.
You’re beginning to recognise, more honestly, who you really are. And that can be difficult because you’ve built a mindset around showing up, performing, staying engaged and being constantly on.
Coming to terms with being an introvert and recognising that the way you have been working doesn’t actually fit who you are can feel incredibly complex.
Your professional world may not support that reality.
So now you find yourself in conflict between the identity you built through your work and the person underneath it.
That realisation can feel deeply destabilising.
It can leave you with a sense of loss. Loss of certainty about who you are, what you want, how to move forward and whether you even can.
I felt the same.
Realising I didn’t fit the life and work I had built left me a profound sense of uncertainty. The doubts grew, the fear escalated and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so lost as I did then.
But amidst feeling at a loss, there was one thing that helped me walk forward. I remembered I had a choice.
When You Start Questioning Your Choices
Choice is the greatest feature of being human. And it’s so often forgotten.
The ability to choose your path is within your hands, even if it might not feel like that to you right now.
You may feel weighed down by responsibilities, expectations and pressures that seem to remove that choice from you.
And some of that may be real. But some of it may also come from deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behaving that keep you in work that isn’t right for you.
A brilliant women, Jean Nidetch, founder of Weight Watchers said,
“It’s choice, not chance, that determines your destiny.”
And when you apply that perspective to work and career alignment, it becomes clear that change often begins with becoming more aware of the choices you make every day.
Many of those choices are unconscious.
Staying in work that doesn’t feel right for you is a choice.
Continually showing up in the way that you do is a choice.
Performing for praise, approval or validation is a choice.
So let the idea of choice become something you pay attention to.
You’ll begin to notice what feels strained, automatic and expected, compared to what feels intentional, considered and genuinely right for you.
And through awareness, you become more present in your own life. You begin to understand your patterns, your behaviour and the decisions that shape your future.
This is critical because when you know you can deliver, you have the potential to make big things happen.
This might be within an organisation, or it might be on your own. Whatever it looks like, the right set-up is the one that fits you.
But to get there, your mindset needs to support your immense capability.
The Decisions that Shape Your Career
Staying in contexts that consistently work against your nature will limit your ability to lead and deliver what you know you’re capable of.
Over time, that environment becomes unsustainable, leaving you depleted and without the focus you need to embrace your ambition and move towards the future you want.
Your energy is your most valuable asset. Protecting it, allowing it to recover and using it in ways that work with you, not against you, has to become the priority.
Choosing to align your work with who you are is a choice only you can make.
So start by asking yourself: what choices am I making today?