You may know you want something different from your work, yet still find yourself unable to make a change. The reason may lie deeper than your goals or values.
In this episode, I explore the behavioural drivers that shape how you work, what you choose and what keeps you showing up, even when you don’t want to.
When you understand what drives you, you can stop trying to change yourself and start making conscious choices that move you towards work that reflects who you are.
Hello, and thank you for being here.
Have you ever wondered why you do what you do in the way you do it? Humans are complex, unique from each other, but also predictable.
You will show up and deliver differently to your colleagues and friends. You’ll have different ambitions, desires and interest. You’ll behave in a way unique to you.
And what is important about your behaviour?
Well, it influences your decision making. And the chances are you won’t even realise it.
You may have considered what you really want, have defined some career or life goals, but if it’s been years and you still can’t seem to move towards them, then your behavioural drivers could be holding you back.
Today, we’ll explore how your behavioural drivers can keep you from moving towards what you want, and why when you fully understand and consciously work with them, you can lead yourself towards your goals.
The full transcript is available at theactionwithin.com/11.
Why you keep trying to fix the wrong thing
You might have thought about what makes you tick. Lying in bed at night, your mind is running and you’re thinking, Why do I do it? Why do I keep showing up?
And yet at the same time you’re thinking “This is the path I’ve chosen”. You’ve given so much already, and the idea of walking away from what you’ve built can feel impossible.
So you try to validate this thing you don’t want. Maybe it will feel better next month, or next year. Or maybe you need to add a qualification or increase your exposure within the business, and you’ll get that promotion and maybe things will feel better.
What you’re doing here is thinking externally, about the context, the environment, the attainment available to you. What more can I add to make this feel better?
But the time spent looking at yourself and your actual behaviour is likely to be minimal.
And the truth is, that’s the most important factor in bringing about the critical change you want.
What’s keeping you there
There is a reason you have so far been unable to extract yourself from a job or a line of work that has taken so much from you.
Your mind is on the job, getting on with the demands and delivering. You put yourself into automatic and you are off. And that programme repeats and the days and years roll by.
The most important thing to know is that there is something, or a few things, in your job that satisfies you enough to keep you there.
And this satisfaction is almost unconscious. It taps into something that matters to you and, as a result, you keep showing up, even when you don’t want to.
The truth is, if there was nothing in this job that satisfied something in you, you would be much more likely to leave. There are other jobs. You would secure one. You’ve done it before and you can do it again.
But you stay and feel stuck. And this is why I’m so happy you are here because when you start paying attention to your own behaviour, the choices you make, what attracts and repels you, you will realise you can break the cycle.
Looking beneath your goals and values
Core values are often considered as positive guides that will help you move towards what you want. This is true of aspirational values: you want more of these things in your life such as love, honesty, faith, so you focus on them and wish them into being. For those who are in a good place and want to step it up, that might be all they need to focus on.
However, for those like yourself who are struggling to bring about change for themselves and are not able to explain why, there is a need to go deeper.
This is what I focus on with clients in my “Understand What Drives You” single session.
We are looking to not only understand what aspirations you have, but how you actually behave. Because it’s your behaviour that has led you to where you are and, in part, why you feel stuck.
To do that we look at what drives you. What makes you choose one thing over another. What gives you satisfaction.
And what we are looking for is not visible on the surface. These aren’t things you consciously choose, like aspirational values. They are already embedded in the way you operate, and we need to excavate them and bring them into sight.
Using your drivers to change direction
My clients who have done this work have found deep driver values that are so obvious to them now, but were overlooked and at times ignored because they didn’t feel positive about them.
For instance, competitiveness and praise were identified in one client and her immediate reaction was shame and embarrassment for being this way. Through our work, she saw how these deep drivers were being met in her current role. She was then able to reframe these drivers and use them to help her walk away from a line of work that was not right for her and into a new profession. This new work was not only a long buried ambition but it now gave her the opportunity to satisfy her deep drivers consciously and willingly.
Importantly, she didn’t ignore or try to change what drives her. Instead, she faced it, harnessed it and used it to her advantage.
This is the power of being aware of what drives you. When you understand your deep satisfaction, you can start making conscious choices about how you direct those drivers.
If you have tried many approaches and are still stuck in work you don’t want to be in, it might be time to think deeper.
It’s not about changing you or adding more to you. It’s about you knowing who you are, how you operate and how that can help you move towards what you want. That knowledge and acceptance gives you the foundation to make different choices about your future.
My diary is open for this single session “Understand What Drives You”. Read more about it on my website at TheActionWithin.com/Understand.
I’ll be here when you are ready to do deeper.